Control the Dog -- or Me?

Can you believe it!? Awake at 2 a.m. and I'm thinking about yesterday's trip to the dog park with our two dogs. At two in the morning!!???

The youngest canine is Brandy Bojangles, a year and a half old Cocker Spaniel -- recently spayed -- which is why she could finally go to the park. Brandy usually barks fearfully and incessantly at the mere sight of another dog or human. Yet, once in the park, she took it all in without a sound.  

But this writing is not about Brandy.

The second dog is my husband's three year old, female, Dalmatian/Aussie mix named Zephyr. That afternoon Zephyr did something I had never seen her do before. She jumped up on someone, resting her paws on their chest, then quickly got down as I verbally directed her. But she did it again...and again...and again!...and...to more than one person.

Zephyr had caught me so off guard that I never even had the thought to physically restrain her from doing it again. Why hadn't I simply taken her by the collar, apologized, and walked away?

Everyone involved appeared both surprised and almost entertained by her behavior. It was obvious, that for some very uncomfortable moments in time, I did not have control of my dog. 

But this is actually not about Zephyr either.

Laying there awake in the wee hours of the morning, I became immensely disconcerted about Zephyr. That's when I realized the urgency of how much I truly need to regain control of a lot more than a dog. 

This is really about me, I thought.

Just like that warm engulfing sensation you feel when you step into a hot tub and slowly immerse yourself, I felt strangely comforted and even inspired by yesterday's episode. My mental muscles rejuvenated as I lay there pondering the benefits of a more controlled, more disciplined life.  

It was time to get up and lay out a plan.

To have reasonable control of things around me (including a dog), I must first take control of myself. And, control over the physical body begins with mental discipline, because the body won't quit until the mind gives in.

What a person thinks about -- considers, ponders and focuses on -- is what they become. That is a law. So I will tend to my moment by moment ponderings by giving greater heed to the kind of nutrition I'm feeding my mind with. That's fair and simple.

Diligently disciplining the mind will enable my physical body to attain the desired results I seek, for I cannot function well without significant physical endurance and vitality. This will also mean a balanced diet and exercise. 

I may have the good food and great cooking part of it under control, but there remains a very pressing need for me to concentrate on the exercise side of that equation. I am encouraged by knowing I am fully equipped for success.

Next, I can begin to branch out into my environment, to have better control of my surroundings. This will include my/our dogs, my home and yard, the care of my mother, and...even taxes. 

All these things have one essential aspect when it comes to control  -- the element of time. 

Time~~ (as defined by Juilius O'Hara -- Peter Lorre in Beat the Devil, 1953)

Time. Time. What is time?
Swiss manufacture it.
French hoard it.
Italians squander it.
Americans say it is money.
Hindus say it does not exist.
You know what I say?
I say, time is a crook!

Well, you know what I say? I say, I will need to be more assertive in how I utilize my time, because time is an irreplaceable commodity that requires stewardship.

There it is...all laid out. I cannot -- I will not -- fail. I can only succeed. I will regain the control I desire and need in my life. 

And...

       I will have the presence of mind to simply take Zephyr by the collar, apologize, and walk away.

Author Unknown

Have you ever heard of Author Unknown? Do you know anyone who has ever met him or her? Have you ever thought about how many centuries this individual has lived? (You think I jest!)

It is somewhat astounding to consider the number of truly profound and mostly inspiring poems written by this Unknown "character."

Here are just 3 Unknown thought provokers that I particularly enjoy -- especially at this time of year when our kindness and consideration barometers might be pushed to their limits.
  

Charity

There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it ill behooves any of us
To find fault with the rest of us.

Pray Don't Find Fault

Pray don't find fault with the man who limps
or stumbles along the road,
unless you have worn the shoes he wears
or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
though hidden away from view,
or the burden he bears, placed on your back
might cause you to stumble too.

Don't sneer at the man who's down today
unless you have felt the blow
that caused his fall or felt the shame
that only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
that were his, if dealt to you
in the selfsame way, at the selfsame time,
might cause you to stagger too.

Don't be too harsh with the man who sins
or pelt him with word or stone,
unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
that you have no sins of your own.
For you know perhaps if the tempter's voice
should whisper as softly to you
as it did to him when he went astray,
it might cause you to stumble too.

High Resolve

I'll hold my candle high, and then
Perhaps I'll see the hearts of men
Above the sordidness of life,
Beyond misunderstandings, strife.
Though many deeds that others do
Seem foolish, rash and sinful too,
Just who am I to criticize
What I perceive with my dull eyes?
I'll hold my candle high, and then,
                                 Perhaps I'll see the hearts of men.

Seriously...No Comment

I know it's hard to believe, but in pondering my extensive lack of words to write, I have made an interesting observation:

It seems that whenever I have to actually take the time out to seriously focus on my life, then take the time to do what is needed to adjust or fix all my ongoing affairs, I simply have no opinion -- one way or another -- on what anyone else is doing with theirs...or...even my own, for that matter.

I have yet to decide whether this is a good thing...
                                                                             or not ;~)

Thankfulness For Life Helps

My mother is back from her ten day stay with my brother. The first 3 days seemed somewhat rough going, but we adjusted and actually managed to survive the transition without any serious damage. 

Thankfulness for life always seems to help.

Nearly a week later, I was taking my beloved husband to the ER for acute stomach and side/back pain -- less than 2 weeks after being there with his mother. He's doing fine...nothing catastrophically serious anyway. But it caused me to pause in thankfulness for having something as simple as -- life.

Then he got his paycheck. It was 4 days short on pay. I'm still not at all sure how everything got covered those 2 weeks, but I know I chose to remain calm and confident that we would survive without any major consequences. Of course, remaining thankful for life certainly didn't hurt.

When the 3 dogs got cabin fever yesterday, because of sudden inclement weather, and I felt like strangling each of them for ignoring every single command...guess what!?

Thankfulness for life really does help!

There Is Always A Choice

Just finished reading my conclusion of last year's journal writings: nearly every entry speaks of balance, focus, purpose and freedom. It's interesting to realize that God's Word answers each of those things, when it is truly the only rule of faith and practice. With that Word, life becomes simple, balanced, focused, purposeful and I become free.

Courtesy of HubPages.com

Change. Now there's another wonderful theme. I believe that one is befitting 2012. It only takes a teeny tiny tweak to alter the course of any subject, and I have a few subjects that really need to find new paths to travel on.

There are decisions I can make -- that I have control over -- which can make a difference in not only a day, but my week, and thus my year. 

It can be something as simple as grocery shopping Friday (or even Monday) mornings, rather than Sunday (or even Saturday) afternoons. Or, taking a shower at 6 AM rather than in the afternoon. Or, riding my bike in the mornings while our 3 dogs nap. Each choice I make to vary my norm in the here and now, will alter my future.

If a particular picture (physical or mental) upsets -- causes mumblings or possibly even depression -- then get a new or different picture! Why hold on to something that makes us feel miserable? 

Contrary to what our minds may occasionally try to tell us, ...there is always a choice.

Profound??

Pondering deeply? Not quite. But of course that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be. I simply need to get my focus back -- focus for writing.

I was such a prolific writer in my 30's...makes me wonder what it would've been like for me if blogging was available then. But, that was then and this is now. Profound? Hardly.

For the past 4 weeks, I've been using our little 2 year old Gateway netbook to access the internet -- not sure yet whether I like the keyboard or not. It also explains why I haven't been too social lately. Guess I'm like a lot of other people, wanting things simple and convenient, or not much happens. Of course, I'm assuming I know how a lot of other people are. I could be dead wrong. Yes, me. Profound? There are those who think I may have just qualified myself. (haha)

My mother left to stay with my brother 6 days ago...she'll be back in 4. Her third day away found us at the ER with my mother-in-law (who also lives with my husband and myself). She had fainted. They never figured out exactly why, but we learned she had a good case of the flu. She's 72.

Other than that, nothing very interesting has been happening in my life lately. Our car is running fine. Our 3 dogs are fine...considering what it is to have 3. The house is hunky-dory. My decluttering plan is going...well...progressing as I had about expected.   Everything is actually quite fine.

I have to admit, life is pretty much the same it's been for awhile -- that is, considering all things to be considered.

(Sounds like one of those wonderfully profound remarks from the movie The Matrix -- doesn't it? Well...doesn't it????)

Okay,...so I definitely need help. I admit it. Now that is  deeply profound ;~)

What A Day It Is...

What a day it is, turning it around in my mind. Picking up remnants in the yard from last night's storm. My sick little doggie, Ginger, taking an extra long walk this morning, then eating a scrambled egg after having refused breakfast for over a week. Facebook? Someone asking, If our nation falls, will it be because of debt or condoning homosexuality? (sigh) And, I've been thinking about posting the pics I took late yesterday afternoon of the tiny green hummingbird that visited my petunias. Made my care and storm-protection of those huge baskets well worth it :~)

Ah, yes! And I am actually contemplating the possibility of writing again...will see what develops.

I believe it really all began with my 25th wedding anniversary...

Dead Calm

Sitting in a sailboat in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight -- dead calm. That's me in the sailboat. No motor. No cell phone service. But plenty of food and water, so I'm actually handling it rather well. For now, the solitude is somewhat soothing. Although I am wearied by the passing of time, I realize that once I decide which direction I want to go...the wind will be there.

Age is a Funny Thing

Courtesy "Psychology Today"

Today, it seems, I haven't much to say about life. I've pretty much come to accept its ebbs and flows, its peaks and valleys, and...well, not so much its plateaus. But overall, it is what it is.

The earlier version of myself would never have agreed. I was constantly off on some new adventure, taking on some new challenge, and learning some new element of life. Ohhh...and could I be profound! Metaphoric essays erupted from my inner core, and poetry just oozed out of my pores!

Today appears to be a time, not so much of opinion, but of story-telling. As I came of the age I am now, I was rather convinced I would end up this elderly wise sage. Perhaps some of my more long-time friends may still see me that way. Did I know that all those adventures would lead to telling stories? I think not.

Ever see the 2003 movie Big Fish, starring Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney and Billy Crudup? The following excerpt is taken from Yahoo-Movies:

As an eight-year old confined to bed because of a preternatural growing spurt, Edward Bloom occupies himself by reading the entire World Book Encyclopedia. He is taken in particular with an article about goldfish, in which he learns that "if goldfish are kept in a small bowl, they will remain small. With more space, the fish can double, triple or quadruple its size." Ten years later, after becoming one of the most popular young men in Ashton, Alabama, he realizes that--like the goldfish--in order for him to grow he must leave home and explore the world.

And thus, an improbable and mythic journey begins. Many years and countless adventures later, Bloom is well known as a teller of tall tales about his colorful life as a less than ordinary young man, when his wanderlust took him around the world and back again. When Edward becomes ill,...Will [his disbelieving son] embarks on his own personal journey trying to separate the myth from the reality of his father's life and come to terms with the man's giant feats and great failings.

My own father was much like Edward Bloom in the "tales about his colorful life" department -- at least in the way it affected me. I'm not so sure I was ever able to sort it all out like Will did in the movie, but at an early age I decided that my colorful stories of life would simply need to be true. I honestly believe that is why I chose to be a writer of nonfiction.

Growing up in the midst of so many tall tales, the quest for truth filled the deep crevices of my heart and soul. In my early years I immersed myself in the Bible -- a book that Roman Catholics of that time weren't supposed to read without direction. HA!

Then, as a teen I searched the works of Kant, Camus, Tiehard de Chardin, Jung and even Kahlil Gibran. Many philosophies and religions later, I returned to the Bible as my final word on what is true...finally having been taught how to understand it. (And, for those who hold that Carpe Diem doesn't possibly fit with the Bible, it does -- perfectly.)

When I first sat down to write today, I thought that a head full of opinions may be a thing of youth - a trait that perhaps dissipates with age, because aging teaches us that everyone always has an opinion about something. 

And, I had the thought that the story-telling was an outgrowth of having lived many wildly colorful years. These thoughts may all harbor some truth, but I think my premise is false.

I believe my concepts about "being full of opinions" and "being full of story-telling" have nothing really to do with age. In fact, that is where my premise is in error.

Age is a funny thing. People vary far more than from Black to White, and a few shades in between -- far more than any rainbow. I believe that people are, refreshingly, as unique and varied as God. And yet, to consider that the foolishness of God still lies far above the greatest wisdom of all mankind combined -- oh my! So much for opinion.

It is not the chronological age of an individual that determines these tendencies. Rather, it is how one ages, how one assimilates the adventure of living life, that would have the greatest influence on what exudes from that life -- no matter the actual years lived.

Opinionator? Stories? Sage? Ah yes! Age is a funny thing.

"W" is for Whose Fault is it, Anyway?

Often I am amazed at the growing number of people who actually believe that circumstances, or even other people, govern who they've become and who they will be in the future. Whose fault is it, anyway?

• If my neighbor hadn't ignored me like that back then, I'd probably be a little bit more friendly now.
• If it wasn't so cold and windy every single day, the yard work would probably be done by now.
• If you hadn't talked to me in that tone, I'd probably be more willing to listen to you right now.
• If people were paying more attention to their driving, I probably wouldn't have had to cut you off.

Let's see how it works when I get rid of the "if." How about some really real stuff, like family...

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why it's really hard for me not to do the same thing.

 Here's the flip side, which isn't any better, because it's still for the wrong reason:

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why I refuse to react in the same way now.

Or, maybe it's siblings...

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I'm always struggling with low self-esteem.

Same thing, but a different angle:

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I refuse to let our boys do that to her now.

Whose fault is it, anyway!!?

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that none of these things ever cross my own mind. But what about those individuals who truly believe these are all genuinely good reasons for behaving the way they do in certain situations. My oh my...whose fault is it, anyway?

• I wouldn't have to switch companies all the time, [if] someone just believed in good customer service.
• I would probably get up earlier on the weekends, [if] I just had something more to get up to.
• I would probably be more willing to get involved, [if] it didn't always feel like they're just using me.
• I know I wouldn't be so sensitive about this, [if] people just treated me with a little more respect and consideration.

Just more of the right ingredients of life and I'd be okay. If I just had a better teacher, a better job, better friends, more money, my spouse acted differently, my kids weren't so crazy, my in-laws didn't live so close...I'd have a better life, and I'd be different. Enter in the infamous "grass is always greener" myth.

Over the years, I have diligently worked to root up each and every one of these horrid little parasites of so-called reason, out of my vocabulary and out of my thinking. They're like weeds. Somehow a new one pops up just when I thought I had them all licked! Or worse yet, 2 or 3 come back for every one I've  discarded. How unending! How frustrating! How tiring this can be!

“You are where you are and what you are because of yourself, because of your own choices and decisions.” ~Brian Tracy, Author and Motivational Speaker

"We are what we are because of our believing, not other people's believing...We will sink to the depths or rise to the heights of our believing." ~Life Lines, Quotations of Victor Paul Wierwille

This gives me a strong sense of control in my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. I am the architect of my own life.

In the midst of it all, I have found comfort and strength in a simple truth about circumstances.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~Brian Tracy

In short, I have determined within myself to stop re-acting to situations. Instead, I mentally take a step back, look at what just hit the fan, then carefully move forward in a manner that redirects or even resolves what just occurred.

"Oh! You're talking about being pro-active."

Call it what you may, it's still doing whatever works to keep my steps steady and out of the muddy clay of defeat. I am mastering change.

I am what I am...and changing! So...whose fault is it, anyway!!? All mine :~)

~~~~~~~~

"L" is for Learning, But Not to Have Learned

A great number of years ago, I was talking with a friend who wondered what I had been up to lately. In my reply I used the phrase, "I've learned that..." My friend listened intently, but every time I said learned, he interjected the word, learning. 

This continued as we hung out together over the next few days. Finally, I began to catch myself, saying, "I've been learning that..." or "I am learning..."

Why would this be such a big deal? My friend explained to me that to learn is a continuing process because life is always changing, and that to say learned -- ed -- is past tense, as if it's a done deal, and there's nothing more to learn on the subject. Then he asked, "Is that what you want?"

 

I have kept this lesson close to my heart throughout my life, always eager to learn, looking at learning as one of the greatest adventures in life. I have seen many things, but feel I am learning even more. 

Not only are there the many faceted perspectives I've acquired from which I can view life, but I have so much more to draw on in the multi-faceted views of all the people whose lives have intrigued me. I am thankful to all those who have, in some way, touched my soul. I also must agree that, yes, learning is a continuum.

Yet herein lies a funny thing. The older I get, I marvel at how easy it has become to remark, "If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's..." Please. Tell me this isn't happening!

Once again I find myself having to stop and reword my phrasing to say instead, "If there's one thing I am learning in life..." Let me never allow myself to put a cap on my learning...until the day of my last breath, and I'm 6-foot under, pushing up those proverbial daisies :~)

"I" is for Island - the Catalina Kind

I always thought there is one thing I am not, and that's a romantic. Who's a romantic? Or should I say, What's a romantic? Actually, either one will work. At least the online dictionaries don't state much difference between the two.

Romantic ~ adj.

1. Inclined toward the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love; as a romantic candlelit dinner
2. Relating to love, esp. in a sentimental or idealized way; as a romantic comedy
3. an idealized view of reality 
4. relating to the artistic and literary movement of Romanticism 

After reading through those definitions, I would still tend to believe that I'm really not much of a romantic. But...I'm also starting to realize that I may have been lying to myself. 

Cao Yong ~ The Vision Beyond

Why? Because of these other definitions I found: 

• passionate and imaginative, rather than structured 
• a soulful and amorous idealist to the extent of being impractical 
• a visionary

These insights reveal why I might also be part of that illustrious group of dreamers called romantic, and perhaps this also explains why I would choose Catalina Island as my #2 choice for a vacation. 

It was our first real vacation -- the kind that you actually go somewhere other than visiting family. All the plans were in place -- two complete days of fun at Knott's Berry Farm, Movieland Wax Museum and Disneyland, then over to Long Beach where my husband and I would board an early morning ferry headed for our romantic getaway on Catalina Island. 

Although there are actually two towns on the Island (Two Harbors being one of them) Avalon is the port of entry. It has a very beautiful bay, especially at night when the entire beachfront comes alive with its inhabitants seeking fresh fish cuisine or an evening stroll.

We chose the Victorian-style, historic Glenwood Hotel for our 3-day stay. They offered a wine and cheese social every evening, and a continental breakfast in the same courtyard where luminaries such as Amelia Earhart and Teddy Roosevelt often sipped their tea. The crowning touch was our room, which pleasantly depicted a bygone era, along with a very comfy bed. 

The best Italian restaurant I've ever eaten at was Prego's on Catalina Island -- an ultra tiny, family-owned taste of Italy on the waterfront, all done up in red checkered gingham on the tables and in the windows. I asked if they were connected to the grocery store sauce, and was informed they were one of a kind...no others...including the sauce.

So...maybe you're wondering why I called Catalina my #2 choice for a vacation. Maybe, just maybe, you thought for a moment and wondered what my #1 choice might be. Answer? The Grecian Islands...sigh. 

Okay. So...no...I'm not a romantic. Me?! Uh-uh...not at all. That's why I write NON-fiction...right??! ...HA!

"F" is for F.E.A.R. - and its Demise

Fear is a strange creature. Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I even dared to believe that it was a good motivator under certain conditions. Yes, it may indeed provoke a person into action, but it'll be short-lived. True motivation is when a person responds from the heart, and long-lasting desired results are achieved. 

Then, a not quite as long so-very-long-time ago, I was taught how to confront fear -- be it mine own or anyone else's. This, I craved. But how scary it seemed to even begin to take it on! 

Actually, it's not nearly as daunting as it first sounded to be. The seed of fear is doubt, which breeds worry, which eventually brings on the fear. It lessens the hair on the beast to break it down.

On the flip-side, the opposite of worry is trust, and the opposite of doubt is confidence. This means it's possible to derail the fear train at either of those two points. Where there is worry, simply build trust; where there is doubt, focus on whatever it takes to get rooted in total, undeniable, confidence.

And to seal the deal and stay focused, there's a nifty acronym that has always kept me from falling off the edge of panic or freezing in my tracks and just going numb. It clarifies and defines fear in such a way that it truly shrinks it down to near bite-size. Perhaps you've heard it before:

F-alse. 
E-vidence. 
A-ppearing. 
R-eal. 

I just look that not-so-hairy tiny creature right in the face in the mirror, and tell it what a big fake it is! I remind it how it wouldn't even hold up in a court of law! Then I just go about my business building the trust and instilling the confidence, until I'm good and saturated. 

Actually... it's sort of fun to get rid of that stuff :~)


~~With that all being said, I can now get ready to head out for the evening with some absolutely wonderful people for the best and most unique tasting pizza -- anywhere -- "F" is for Falbo Brothers' Pizza!  

"A" is for Time

(No, the title is not a typo.)
Working for a boss, I wondered at times why they didn't do, what I thought they should do, when I thought they should. Like, why don't they fire so-and-so? Or, why didn't they bring that up at the meeting? And, don't they see what's going on here?? I mean, I thought I was pretty darn smart.

picture-newsletter.com

Then, there are those times I have been perplexed as all get out, as to my husband's timing with his decisions. Like, why did he choose to keep quiet about that when he talked to so-and-so? Or, why won't he take the time to sit down and discuss this with me? And, doesn't he realize that such-and-such really needs to be done now? I mean, I thought I was pretty smart on how and when we should do things. 

Granted, there is always the possibility that my boss simply avoided confrontation, didn't like uncomfortable subjects at meetings, and always walked around in a general daze. And there is always the possibility that my husband just doesn't feel like confronting so-and-so, doesn't want to have a might-turn-into-a-major-talk with me, and actually likes doing things on his own timetable once in awhile.  Imagine that.

Yet, in life, timing is often crucial - and not just when deadlines are involved. Many times I have to remind myself that now may not be the best time to mention something to someone, or not the right time to do a particular thing I've been wanting to do. In much of life there is...
                   "A" time 
                         set apart 
                              for saying 
                                   and doing
                                        certain things 
                                             at certain times...

and, there is a genuinely smart reason the following was ever written. Perhaps now is the right time to pause long enough to read, and ponder, each line:
                             
To every thing there is a season, and 
          A time to every purpose under the heavens: 
A time to be born, and 
          A time to die;
A time to plant, and 
          A time to pluck up what was planted;
A time to kill, and 
          A time to heal;
A time to brake down, and 
          A time to build up;
A time to weep, and 
          A time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and 
          A time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and 
          A time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and 
          A time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and 
          A time to lose;
A time to keep, and 
          A time to cast away;
A time to rend, and 
          A time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and 
          A time to speak;
A time to love, and 
          A time to hate;
A time of war, and 
          A time of peace.
                                         ~ ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8 

Know what? I'm feeling pretty darn smart lately :~)

Far From Nothing

One of my favorite networks is The Red Room. It's slow-moving and quiet, but I actually have more views there of my member page, than anywhere else. So I wrote a blurb entitled, "A Writer's Goal - No Regrets," just for The Red Room. 

This brought a comment from "a Southern writer whose work explores the connections between deeper universal truths and the daily moments of our lives" (her own description) which reminded me of, well...me. That meant I had to look at the blog of Marissa Mullins. 

When I visited, I read "A Post About Nothing" from March 7th, where Marissa poses personal social issues that concern many of us at times. Of course, just that alone would make her post Far From Nothing. The following are my somewhat disjointed comments I left on her site (with a few minor edits), which may stir up your curiosity just enough to click on her link also, Paucis Verbis (Latin, transl. in a few words).

(At the time of this writing, Marissa is unaware that I decided to promote her, but I did thank her for inspiring today's post. Little did she know what she was getting herself into when she commented so beautifully on my Red Room post.) 

These are my comments, meant to both inspire and challenge ~

It appears to be true that those who choose the path that caters *not* to greed and over-desire are small in number, and are seeming to become even less as time goes on. In some ways, they're just harder to notice because the Charlie Sheens and the Mel Gibsons of the world simply stand out so overly-much.
 

When people have become complacent or 
frustrated from living without answers, often 
they will buckle, bend or break to the strain. 
Some are simply stronger than others - that 
doesn't make them better, smarter or right - 
just stronger (and only in some areas).

All people crave to be filled within the deep crevices of their souls with some sort of fulfillment where they can be at peace. The knowledge of God and what He does for a person can satisfy that yearning; but even that awareness and understanding comes in so many different flavors, people have a hard time deciding which one.

To help people, there first has to be a mutually recognized want and need. Remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it. The key? A mutually recognized want and need. A very wise person once said that need is defined as the space between where someone is now and where they want to be. No space? Then there is no want, and therefore, no need.  All of us need-meet-ers should be mature and wise enough to accept this - at least in theory.  

And, I might add, that those on the receiving end of a need-meet-er's generosity, should be allowed the freedom to get on with living their lives as they see fit... however lacking we feel they may be... yes, even if it's our significant other. And that's definitely, Far From Nothing :~)