There Is Always A Choice

Just finished reading my conclusion of last year's journal writings: nearly every entry speaks of balance, focus, purpose and freedom. It's interesting to realize that God's Word answers each of those things, when it is truly the only rule of faith and practice. With that Word, life becomes simple, balanced, focused, purposeful and I become free.

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Change. Now there's another wonderful theme. I believe that one is befitting 2012. It only takes a teeny tiny tweak to alter the course of any subject, and I have a few subjects that really need to find new paths to travel on.

There are decisions I can make -- that I have control over -- which can make a difference in not only a day, but my week, and thus my year. 

It can be something as simple as grocery shopping Friday (or even Monday) mornings, rather than Sunday (or even Saturday) afternoons. Or, taking a shower at 6 AM rather than in the afternoon. Or, riding my bike in the mornings while our 3 dogs nap. Each choice I make to vary my norm in the here and now, will alter my future.

If a particular picture (physical or mental) upsets -- causes mumblings or possibly even depression -- then get a new or different picture! Why hold on to something that makes us feel miserable? 

Contrary to what our minds may occasionally try to tell us, ...there is always a choice.

"W" is for Whose Fault is it, Anyway?

Often I am amazed at the growing number of people who actually believe that circumstances, or even other people, govern who they've become and who they will be in the future. Whose fault is it, anyway?

• If my neighbor hadn't ignored me like that back then, I'd probably be a little bit more friendly now.
• If it wasn't so cold and windy every single day, the yard work would probably be done by now.
• If you hadn't talked to me in that tone, I'd probably be more willing to listen to you right now.
• If people were paying more attention to their driving, I probably wouldn't have had to cut you off.

Let's see how it works when I get rid of the "if." How about some really real stuff, like family...

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why it's really hard for me not to do the same thing.

 Here's the flip side, which isn't any better, because it's still for the wrong reason:

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why I refuse to react in the same way now.

Or, maybe it's siblings...

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I'm always struggling with low self-esteem.

Same thing, but a different angle:

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I refuse to let our boys do that to her now.

Whose fault is it, anyway!!?

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that none of these things ever cross my own mind. But what about those individuals who truly believe these are all genuinely good reasons for behaving the way they do in certain situations. My oh my...whose fault is it, anyway?

• I wouldn't have to switch companies all the time, [if] someone just believed in good customer service.
• I would probably get up earlier on the weekends, [if] I just had something more to get up to.
• I would probably be more willing to get involved, [if] it didn't always feel like they're just using me.
• I know I wouldn't be so sensitive about this, [if] people just treated me with a little more respect and consideration.

Just more of the right ingredients of life and I'd be okay. If I just had a better teacher, a better job, better friends, more money, my spouse acted differently, my kids weren't so crazy, my in-laws didn't live so close...I'd have a better life, and I'd be different. Enter in the infamous "grass is always greener" myth.

Over the years, I have diligently worked to root up each and every one of these horrid little parasites of so-called reason, out of my vocabulary and out of my thinking. They're like weeds. Somehow a new one pops up just when I thought I had them all licked! Or worse yet, 2 or 3 come back for every one I've  discarded. How unending! How frustrating! How tiring this can be!

“You are where you are and what you are because of yourself, because of your own choices and decisions.” ~Brian Tracy, Author and Motivational Speaker

"We are what we are because of our believing, not other people's believing...We will sink to the depths or rise to the heights of our believing." ~Life Lines, Quotations of Victor Paul Wierwille

This gives me a strong sense of control in my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. I am the architect of my own life.

In the midst of it all, I have found comfort and strength in a simple truth about circumstances.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~Brian Tracy

In short, I have determined within myself to stop re-acting to situations. Instead, I mentally take a step back, look at what just hit the fan, then carefully move forward in a manner that redirects or even resolves what just occurred.

"Oh! You're talking about being pro-active."

Call it what you may, it's still doing whatever works to keep my steps steady and out of the muddy clay of defeat. I am mastering change.

I am what I am...and changing! So...whose fault is it, anyway!!? All mine :~)

~~~~~~~~

"J" is for Jumping Jacks

Have you ever tried to do a thousand jumping jacks? 

You get to 100...200...300...and you just keep going until your legs turn to rubber. Then you finally look down to see if those rubberized appendages are okay, and they aren't even moving...but you thought they were.

You're thinking you should quit. You're thinking it's all good because at least you tried. That's when you hear the voice of your favorite Star Wars' character:

 

"No," scolded Yoda. "Do, or do not. There is no try." 

So you ignore the sensation and continue to "jump" with your arms flaggling in the air as if you no longer own them. You have no idea what number you're on, but someone else is counting for you, so it doesn't matter. 

Then it happens. Suddenly you realize neither your arms or legs are actually moving -- not even twitching -- but somehow your mind is convinced you're still doing jumping jacks. Reality creeps in and you are terribly aware of how silly you must look. 

You glance around only to discover that many of the other jumpers aren't moving either, or have melted to the floor. The leader is still up front, jacking with near p-e-r-f-e-c-t form, while counting aloud. How does he do it?!! you ask yourself. 

Finally, the counting stops. It's over. And...you're still standing! You try to walk away, but can't. So you sit down right in the middle of the floor where you were once-upon-a-time jumping a jack...now...recovering. 

Carefully stretching each muscle as your breath and pulse return to that familiar quiet and steady rhythm, you start to feel as if someone just figured out how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Ever so slowly, you rise, and methodically walk away.

You know you are no longer the same person. You've changed. But you can't explain exactly how. You smile with satisfaction as a solitary yet powerful thought comes to mind:
     I was still standing :~)

"A" is for Time

(No, the title is not a typo.)
Working for a boss, I wondered at times why they didn't do, what I thought they should do, when I thought they should. Like, why don't they fire so-and-so? Or, why didn't they bring that up at the meeting? And, don't they see what's going on here?? I mean, I thought I was pretty darn smart.

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Then, there are those times I have been perplexed as all get out, as to my husband's timing with his decisions. Like, why did he choose to keep quiet about that when he talked to so-and-so? Or, why won't he take the time to sit down and discuss this with me? And, doesn't he realize that such-and-such really needs to be done now? I mean, I thought I was pretty smart on how and when we should do things. 

Granted, there is always the possibility that my boss simply avoided confrontation, didn't like uncomfortable subjects at meetings, and always walked around in a general daze. And there is always the possibility that my husband just doesn't feel like confronting so-and-so, doesn't want to have a might-turn-into-a-major-talk with me, and actually likes doing things on his own timetable once in awhile.  Imagine that.

Yet, in life, timing is often crucial - and not just when deadlines are involved. Many times I have to remind myself that now may not be the best time to mention something to someone, or not the right time to do a particular thing I've been wanting to do. In much of life there is...
                   "A" time 
                         set apart 
                              for saying 
                                   and doing
                                        certain things 
                                             at certain times...

and, there is a genuinely smart reason the following was ever written. Perhaps now is the right time to pause long enough to read, and ponder, each line:
                             
To every thing there is a season, and 
          A time to every purpose under the heavens: 
A time to be born, and 
          A time to die;
A time to plant, and 
          A time to pluck up what was planted;
A time to kill, and 
          A time to heal;
A time to brake down, and 
          A time to build up;
A time to weep, and 
          A time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and 
          A time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and 
          A time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and 
          A time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and 
          A time to lose;
A time to keep, and 
          A time to cast away;
A time to rend, and 
          A time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and 
          A time to speak;
A time to love, and 
          A time to hate;
A time of war, and 
          A time of peace.
                                         ~ ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8 

Know what? I'm feeling pretty darn smart lately :~)

A Guy Named Nes

Once again I was given a writing prompt on Facebook from my dear friend and published poet, Lisa Cihlar. She asked her friends to "write a poem about Wednesday" (today). Of course, I couldn't resist, so I decided on limerick style:

A Guy Named Nes - 

There once was a guy named Nes,

Who thought it his only biz,

To wed him a lay

Whose name was Day

And that's how we got Wed-Nes-Day.

As my manner is, I had to look up limericks to see if I did it right. Well, those of you who know this sort of thing probably already saw that my last line doesn't rhyme with the first two. Okay. So it's tweaked. But what I think rather interesting is that I haven't written a limerick for nearly 50 years, yet I somehow remembered the cadence.

The mind is a very intriguing part of our soul. Trivia - like a limerick's cadence - can surprisingly appear, when much more important matters seem to elude us. At times we're able to push for answers to what seems to be the most difficult of problems, while the simplest of issues remains without understanding. 

With our powerful thinker we can choose to stir up trouble or resolve differences, feel defeat or scale mountains, zone out or imagineer, remember our hurts or forgive and forget. And it is with the innermost part of that same mind - the heart - that we decide to care and to give and to love. Yes. What a very intriguing part of our soul the mind is! 

A Guy Named Nes

There once was a gal named Day,

Who wanted a really good lay,

To wed was the best

A guy named Nes --

And that's how we got Wed-Nes-Day!

(There...it's done...but I still think the first one's better :~) LOL)

(Wedding pictures courtesy of www.weddingcollectibles.com)