Control the Dog -- or Me?

Can you believe it!? Awake at 2 a.m. and I'm thinking about yesterday's trip to the dog park with our two dogs. At two in the morning!!???

The youngest canine is Brandy Bojangles, a year and a half old Cocker Spaniel -- recently spayed -- which is why she could finally go to the park. Brandy usually barks fearfully and incessantly at the mere sight of another dog or human. Yet, once in the park, she took it all in without a sound.  

But this writing is not about Brandy.

The second dog is my husband's three year old, female, Dalmatian/Aussie mix named Zephyr. That afternoon Zephyr did something I had never seen her do before. She jumped up on someone, resting her paws on their chest, then quickly got down as I verbally directed her. But she did it again...and again...and again!...and...to more than one person.

Zephyr had caught me so off guard that I never even had the thought to physically restrain her from doing it again. Why hadn't I simply taken her by the collar, apologized, and walked away?

Everyone involved appeared both surprised and almost entertained by her behavior. It was obvious, that for some very uncomfortable moments in time, I did not have control of my dog. 

But this is actually not about Zephyr either.

Laying there awake in the wee hours of the morning, I became immensely disconcerted about Zephyr. That's when I realized the urgency of how much I truly need to regain control of a lot more than a dog. 

This is really about me, I thought.

Just like that warm engulfing sensation you feel when you step into a hot tub and slowly immerse yourself, I felt strangely comforted and even inspired by yesterday's episode. My mental muscles rejuvenated as I lay there pondering the benefits of a more controlled, more disciplined life.  

It was time to get up and lay out a plan.

To have reasonable control of things around me (including a dog), I must first take control of myself. And, control over the physical body begins with mental discipline, because the body won't quit until the mind gives in.

What a person thinks about -- considers, ponders and focuses on -- is what they become. That is a law. So I will tend to my moment by moment ponderings by giving greater heed to the kind of nutrition I'm feeding my mind with. That's fair and simple.

Diligently disciplining the mind will enable my physical body to attain the desired results I seek, for I cannot function well without significant physical endurance and vitality. This will also mean a balanced diet and exercise. 

I may have the good food and great cooking part of it under control, but there remains a very pressing need for me to concentrate on the exercise side of that equation. I am encouraged by knowing I am fully equipped for success.

Next, I can begin to branch out into my environment, to have better control of my surroundings. This will include my/our dogs, my home and yard, the care of my mother, and...even taxes. 

All these things have one essential aspect when it comes to control  -- the element of time. 

Time~~ (as defined by Juilius O'Hara -- Peter Lorre in Beat the Devil, 1953)

Time. Time. What is time?
Swiss manufacture it.
French hoard it.
Italians squander it.
Americans say it is money.
Hindus say it does not exist.
You know what I say?
I say, time is a crook!

Well, you know what I say? I say, I will need to be more assertive in how I utilize my time, because time is an irreplaceable commodity that requires stewardship.

There it is...all laid out. I cannot -- I will not -- fail. I can only succeed. I will regain the control I desire and need in my life. 

And...

       I will have the presence of mind to simply take Zephyr by the collar, apologize, and walk away.

Seriously...No Comment

I know it's hard to believe, but in pondering my extensive lack of words to write, I have made an interesting observation:

It seems that whenever I have to actually take the time out to seriously focus on my life, then take the time to do what is needed to adjust or fix all my ongoing affairs, I simply have no opinion -- one way or another -- on what anyone else is doing with theirs...or...even my own, for that matter.

I have yet to decide whether this is a good thing...
                                                                             or not ;~)

I'm Going to Do It

Starting today. This is it. I've simply let it go way too long. That's the sum and gist of it all. 

I mean, why not? There's absolutely nothing stopping me. As a matter of fact, everything in the universe -- and I mean "everything" -- is compelling me to move on it. Ignoring it is affecting way too many other things...and especially, people. Isn't that the true deciding factor? Affecting people? 

Well, perhaps...but the real crux of the issue is that the "people" it's affecting is moi...

Me :~)

So, this is it. Finally. I am going to take care of...me. :~))

What does this all mean? What is "it?"

Clutter!!!!!!!!!!! Not-so-good, old fashioned, clutter!

Oh...so you have a similar issue!?? And here I thought I was the only one who let things go this far. Hhhhmmmmmm...

I'm pulling out a dark green 33 gallon bag from the garage and heading over to those junk and "keepsake" drawers and closets. Then some quick and final decisions: throw? sell? or store? No inbetween-ers. No exceptions. 

To be vigilant in life, one must be clear headed. To be truly clear, one must travel light -- both mentally and physically. For many many months now, most of my efforts have been on the mental. It is time to set in order my physicals.

What are you doing to make way for what you love in life?

What's Next?

So now that I've completed the April 2011 A to Z Blogging Challenge, what's next?

My plate is very full, having pushed aside many things, while endeavoring to produce a noteworthy post nearly every day. Now I will need to peel back the layers to uncover each neglected task and aggressively take them on -- one by one -- hopefully emptying that plate.

It is spring, and our yard has been crying out for attention like a mournful puppy. We've raked and mowed, overseeded and watered, but now it's the weeding and planting (ever wonder what happened to all those bulbs??!)...plus a little bit of pruning. Then there's all the fall debris that still needs to go to yard-recycling.

Our closets, the basement and the garage are all bursting with things for Goodwill, the Veterans, and a possible garage sale. But before any of those tedious projects can begin, there is the simple matter of catching up on my dishes, laundry and other basics in life to clear the clutter. Sound familiar?

And, I have yet to mention any time for reading, bike riding, amigurumi, journal writing, artwork, letters, ukulele, hiking, indoor gardening and piano. At times I wonder how others stay on top of all their interests. I truly need to lock myself down to more of a schedule, just to stay ahead of any possible regrets in the years ahead. Especially since I'll be turning the big 6-0 this summer.

We have a tremendous plan for our 25th (Silver) Anniversary, less than a month away. June 1st is the actual day, but on the eve we will have our favorite chef come into our home to prepare us a fantastic dinner with wine by candlelight. Plus, our live-in mothers will both be out of town that entire week, so we'll be free to make a few day-trips without any other responsibilities (except Ginger, our Cocker Spaniel). What a delightful time this will be for just the two of us!

Guess that about wraps it up for now on What's Next?

-- without pond-ering too deeply, that is :~)

"W" is for Whose Fault is it, Anyway?

Often I am amazed at the growing number of people who actually believe that circumstances, or even other people, govern who they've become and who they will be in the future. Whose fault is it, anyway?

• If my neighbor hadn't ignored me like that back then, I'd probably be a little bit more friendly now.
• If it wasn't so cold and windy every single day, the yard work would probably be done by now.
• If you hadn't talked to me in that tone, I'd probably be more willing to listen to you right now.
• If people were paying more attention to their driving, I probably wouldn't have had to cut you off.

Let's see how it works when I get rid of the "if." How about some really real stuff, like family...

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why it's really hard for me not to do the same thing.

 Here's the flip side, which isn't any better, because it's still for the wrong reason:

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why I refuse to react in the same way now.

Or, maybe it's siblings...

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I'm always struggling with low self-esteem.

Same thing, but a different angle:

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I refuse to let our boys do that to her now.

Whose fault is it, anyway!!?

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that none of these things ever cross my own mind. But what about those individuals who truly believe these are all genuinely good reasons for behaving the way they do in certain situations. My oh my...whose fault is it, anyway?

• I wouldn't have to switch companies all the time, [if] someone just believed in good customer service.
• I would probably get up earlier on the weekends, [if] I just had something more to get up to.
• I would probably be more willing to get involved, [if] it didn't always feel like they're just using me.
• I know I wouldn't be so sensitive about this, [if] people just treated me with a little more respect and consideration.

Just more of the right ingredients of life and I'd be okay. If I just had a better teacher, a better job, better friends, more money, my spouse acted differently, my kids weren't so crazy, my in-laws didn't live so close...I'd have a better life, and I'd be different. Enter in the infamous "grass is always greener" myth.

Over the years, I have diligently worked to root up each and every one of these horrid little parasites of so-called reason, out of my vocabulary and out of my thinking. They're like weeds. Somehow a new one pops up just when I thought I had them all licked! Or worse yet, 2 or 3 come back for every one I've  discarded. How unending! How frustrating! How tiring this can be!

“You are where you are and what you are because of yourself, because of your own choices and decisions.” ~Brian Tracy, Author and Motivational Speaker

"We are what we are because of our believing, not other people's believing...We will sink to the depths or rise to the heights of our believing." ~Life Lines, Quotations of Victor Paul Wierwille

This gives me a strong sense of control in my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. I am the architect of my own life.

In the midst of it all, I have found comfort and strength in a simple truth about circumstances.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~Brian Tracy

In short, I have determined within myself to stop re-acting to situations. Instead, I mentally take a step back, look at what just hit the fan, then carefully move forward in a manner that redirects or even resolves what just occurred.

"Oh! You're talking about being pro-active."

Call it what you may, it's still doing whatever works to keep my steps steady and out of the muddy clay of defeat. I am mastering change.

I am what I am...and changing! So...whose fault is it, anyway!!? All mine :~)

~~~~~~~~

The Architect of My Soul - The Rooms

There is a type of house cleaning I would rather avoid, and then there is the kind I actually relish. The first strikes me as a mundane chore; the second, an anticipated delight.

My mother often voiced how much she hated doing housework because it would never last. She would say, "As soon as I get it all cleaned, someone has to come along and mess it up. It never ends!" I was highly influenced by her remarks, especially when they supported my childish whim towards laziness.

Later in life, I had the privilege to learn that when you've cleaned something, it has the benefit of blessing the very next person who comes along to use it. It's an admirable attitude of service that makes the task worth doing. I've also seen how keeping my house clean keeps my health stronger. Dust-free breathing seems to become more critical the older I get. Imagine that.

In spite of these rich reasons for enjoying the work, along with my deep-rooted conviction to work "heartily as to the Lord," my childhood paradigm tends to win over when it comes to housework, and it all becomes a mundane chore.

But, there is a kind of house cleaning that I am eager to take on each week, or at least monthly. I know others who prefer entering its doors only once a year, but it would become way too daunting for me to follow their steps. This house is my own soul, and the doors open wide to each of the rooms that makes me... me. Those tiny rooms that mysteriously weave together, become the very fabric of my being.

Around 500 BC, a Greek philosopher named Heraclitus, concluded that change is central to the universe. Today we hold that change is the only constant in life, that nothing and no one is ever static. This would mean that at any given point in time, I am either growing or dying. There is no space between the two. Each of us can choose which way we want to go. Personally, I think a growing plant is
                                                                     far more enjoyable than a dying one.

I recently came across this quote by American journalist and Pulitzer Prize-winning, syndicated columnist, Ellen Goodman:

We spend January 1 walking through 
our lives, room by room, drawing up a 
list of work to be done, cracks to be 
patched. Maybe this year, to balance 
the list, we ought to walk through the 
rooms of our lives... not looking for 
flaws, but for potential.

This is the style of house cleaning that, for me, is an anticipated delight. This is where I can imagine and redesign that fabric because I am the architect of my soul. And, who knows? Perhaps, within the process, I will even discover the room wherein lies the change needed to turn a mundane chore into the exciting.

The Architect of My Soul - Canvas or Drawing Board

Today I pull out the blank canvas. I need to repaint my life - again. Maybe I need to see things bigger this time; maybe I'm more than just a painter. Perhaps I should decide to be the architect - the one who plans, designs, and takes the oversight of the construction. Then I won't be having to revisit this subject - again. That's gotta be the answer.  I'll just become "The Architect of My Soul." (Of course, I say this as if I was the first one who's ever coined the phrase.)

So no blank canvas today. Instead, I'm sitting up to a blank drawing board. I'm actually more familiar with this medium anyway. I took 2 years of mechanical drafting in high school, AND, I was quite good at it I might add. But first, before I lay it all out, I must plan. That will take some serious consideration and thought and... time. Already this seems to be involving much more effort than I'm willing to put into it right now. (sigh)

Perhaps painting would be simpler after all - definitely easier. HGTV always points out how the easiest way to change where you live is: paint. The only plan needed is to decide a color scheme, and I already have one picked out.  It's relatively simple just to stick with what I know I already like.

Meanwhile, back to the drawing bo--- or, uh, I mean, ...blank canvas!  Right? So, I'm going to repaint my life. Right? Wait a minute... then what have I really changed? I'm just going to 'stick with what I know I already like" anyway. Isn't that the path I've taken before? Isn't this why I decided in the first place to pull out the blank canvas today? And, isn't it because of all these things that I concluded I actually need an architect? Yes, I believe so. And... that would be me; I'm the architect (and I'm not referring to The Matrix). I am:

The Architect of My Soul.