Control the Dog -- or Me?

Can you believe it!? Awake at 2 a.m. and I'm thinking about yesterday's trip to the dog park with our two dogs. At two in the morning!!???

The youngest canine is Brandy Bojangles, a year and a half old Cocker Spaniel -- recently spayed -- which is why she could finally go to the park. Brandy usually barks fearfully and incessantly at the mere sight of another dog or human. Yet, once in the park, she took it all in without a sound.  

But this writing is not about Brandy.

The second dog is my husband's three year old, female, Dalmatian/Aussie mix named Zephyr. That afternoon Zephyr did something I had never seen her do before. She jumped up on someone, resting her paws on their chest, then quickly got down as I verbally directed her. But she did it again...and again...and again!...and...to more than one person.

Zephyr had caught me so off guard that I never even had the thought to physically restrain her from doing it again. Why hadn't I simply taken her by the collar, apologized, and walked away?

Everyone involved appeared both surprised and almost entertained by her behavior. It was obvious, that for some very uncomfortable moments in time, I did not have control of my dog. 

But this is actually not about Zephyr either.

Laying there awake in the wee hours of the morning, I became immensely disconcerted about Zephyr. That's when I realized the urgency of how much I truly need to regain control of a lot more than a dog. 

This is really about me, I thought.

Just like that warm engulfing sensation you feel when you step into a hot tub and slowly immerse yourself, I felt strangely comforted and even inspired by yesterday's episode. My mental muscles rejuvenated as I lay there pondering the benefits of a more controlled, more disciplined life.  

It was time to get up and lay out a plan.

To have reasonable control of things around me (including a dog), I must first take control of myself. And, control over the physical body begins with mental discipline, because the body won't quit until the mind gives in.

What a person thinks about -- considers, ponders and focuses on -- is what they become. That is a law. So I will tend to my moment by moment ponderings by giving greater heed to the kind of nutrition I'm feeding my mind with. That's fair and simple.

Diligently disciplining the mind will enable my physical body to attain the desired results I seek, for I cannot function well without significant physical endurance and vitality. This will also mean a balanced diet and exercise. 

I may have the good food and great cooking part of it under control, but there remains a very pressing need for me to concentrate on the exercise side of that equation. I am encouraged by knowing I am fully equipped for success.

Next, I can begin to branch out into my environment, to have better control of my surroundings. This will include my/our dogs, my home and yard, the care of my mother, and...even taxes. 

All these things have one essential aspect when it comes to control  -- the element of time. 

Time~~ (as defined by Juilius O'Hara -- Peter Lorre in Beat the Devil, 1953)

Time. Time. What is time?
Swiss manufacture it.
French hoard it.
Italians squander it.
Americans say it is money.
Hindus say it does not exist.
You know what I say?
I say, time is a crook!

Well, you know what I say? I say, I will need to be more assertive in how I utilize my time, because time is an irreplaceable commodity that requires stewardship.

There it is...all laid out. I cannot -- I will not -- fail. I can only succeed. I will regain the control I desire and need in my life. 

And...

       I will have the presence of mind to simply take Zephyr by the collar, apologize, and walk away.

There Is Always A Choice

Just finished reading my conclusion of last year's journal writings: nearly every entry speaks of balance, focus, purpose and freedom. It's interesting to realize that God's Word answers each of those things, when it is truly the only rule of faith and practice. With that Word, life becomes simple, balanced, focused, purposeful and I become free.

Courtesy of HubPages.com

Change. Now there's another wonderful theme. I believe that one is befitting 2012. It only takes a teeny tiny tweak to alter the course of any subject, and I have a few subjects that really need to find new paths to travel on.

There are decisions I can make -- that I have control over -- which can make a difference in not only a day, but my week, and thus my year. 

It can be something as simple as grocery shopping Friday (or even Monday) mornings, rather than Sunday (or even Saturday) afternoons. Or, taking a shower at 6 AM rather than in the afternoon. Or, riding my bike in the mornings while our 3 dogs nap. Each choice I make to vary my norm in the here and now, will alter my future.

If a particular picture (physical or mental) upsets -- causes mumblings or possibly even depression -- then get a new or different picture! Why hold on to something that makes us feel miserable? 

Contrary to what our minds may occasionally try to tell us, ...there is always a choice.

"W" is for Whose Fault is it, Anyway?

Often I am amazed at the growing number of people who actually believe that circumstances, or even other people, govern who they've become and who they will be in the future. Whose fault is it, anyway?

• If my neighbor hadn't ignored me like that back then, I'd probably be a little bit more friendly now.
• If it wasn't so cold and windy every single day, the yard work would probably be done by now.
• If you hadn't talked to me in that tone, I'd probably be more willing to listen to you right now.
• If people were paying more attention to their driving, I probably wouldn't have had to cut you off.

Let's see how it works when I get rid of the "if." How about some really real stuff, like family...

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why it's really hard for me not to do the same thing.

 Here's the flip side, which isn't any better, because it's still for the wrong reason:

• My dad always yelled about everything; that's why I refuse to react in the same way now.

Or, maybe it's siblings...

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I'm always struggling with low self-esteem.

Same thing, but a different angle:

• My brothers always treated me with such indifference; that's why I refuse to let our boys do that to her now.

Whose fault is it, anyway!!?

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that none of these things ever cross my own mind. But what about those individuals who truly believe these are all genuinely good reasons for behaving the way they do in certain situations. My oh my...whose fault is it, anyway?

• I wouldn't have to switch companies all the time, [if] someone just believed in good customer service.
• I would probably get up earlier on the weekends, [if] I just had something more to get up to.
• I would probably be more willing to get involved, [if] it didn't always feel like they're just using me.
• I know I wouldn't be so sensitive about this, [if] people just treated me with a little more respect and consideration.

Just more of the right ingredients of life and I'd be okay. If I just had a better teacher, a better job, better friends, more money, my spouse acted differently, my kids weren't so crazy, my in-laws didn't live so close...I'd have a better life, and I'd be different. Enter in the infamous "grass is always greener" myth.

Over the years, I have diligently worked to root up each and every one of these horrid little parasites of so-called reason, out of my vocabulary and out of my thinking. They're like weeds. Somehow a new one pops up just when I thought I had them all licked! Or worse yet, 2 or 3 come back for every one I've  discarded. How unending! How frustrating! How tiring this can be!

“You are where you are and what you are because of yourself, because of your own choices and decisions.” ~Brian Tracy, Author and Motivational Speaker

"We are what we are because of our believing, not other people's believing...We will sink to the depths or rise to the heights of our believing." ~Life Lines, Quotations of Victor Paul Wierwille

This gives me a strong sense of control in my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. I am the architect of my own life.

In the midst of it all, I have found comfort and strength in a simple truth about circumstances.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~Brian Tracy

In short, I have determined within myself to stop re-acting to situations. Instead, I mentally take a step back, look at what just hit the fan, then carefully move forward in a manner that redirects or even resolves what just occurred.

"Oh! You're talking about being pro-active."

Call it what you may, it's still doing whatever works to keep my steps steady and out of the muddy clay of defeat. I am mastering change.

I am what I am...and changing! So...whose fault is it, anyway!!? All mine :~)

~~~~~~~~

"F" is for F.E.A.R. - and its Demise

Fear is a strange creature. Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I even dared to believe that it was a good motivator under certain conditions. Yes, it may indeed provoke a person into action, but it'll be short-lived. True motivation is when a person responds from the heart, and long-lasting desired results are achieved. 

Then, a not quite as long so-very-long-time ago, I was taught how to confront fear -- be it mine own or anyone else's. This, I craved. But how scary it seemed to even begin to take it on! 

Actually, it's not nearly as daunting as it first sounded to be. The seed of fear is doubt, which breeds worry, which eventually brings on the fear. It lessens the hair on the beast to break it down.

On the flip-side, the opposite of worry is trust, and the opposite of doubt is confidence. This means it's possible to derail the fear train at either of those two points. Where there is worry, simply build trust; where there is doubt, focus on whatever it takes to get rooted in total, undeniable, confidence.

And to seal the deal and stay focused, there's a nifty acronym that has always kept me from falling off the edge of panic or freezing in my tracks and just going numb. It clarifies and defines fear in such a way that it truly shrinks it down to near bite-size. Perhaps you've heard it before:

F-alse. 
E-vidence. 
A-ppearing. 
R-eal. 

I just look that not-so-hairy tiny creature right in the face in the mirror, and tell it what a big fake it is! I remind it how it wouldn't even hold up in a court of law! Then I just go about my business building the trust and instilling the confidence, until I'm good and saturated. 

Actually... it's sort of fun to get rid of that stuff :~)


~~With that all being said, I can now get ready to head out for the evening with some absolutely wonderful people for the best and most unique tasting pizza -- anywhere -- "F" is for Falbo Brothers' Pizza!  

One Tiny Tweak

It only takes one tiny tweak to change the course of any life. If I am traveling a straight line and I veer off of it by even a fraction of a degree, at some point that new line I'm on will be miles away from the original. When constructing a building, veering would not be wise. That is one reason masons use string when laying brick. But when a person feels worn out, frustrated and is frequently complaining about life, it's definitely time for a tweak. And isn't it a great relief to realize it'll only take one. teeny. tiny. tweak. to change the direction of your life? to become who you dream of being?

The easiest change to make in all of our daily habits and routines, is to vary the order of just one thing, and the new line is drawn. Such a small adjustment to make. But we are creatures of habit, and to move a regular afternoon routine to the morning, for example, can be quite an undertaking. It's easier if looked at as a one-time adventure, keeping in mind that it's just the one. tiny. tweak. that will absolutely be worth more than any of the discomfort that is felt, when all is said and done.

I made just such a tweak one day last March. I did my grocery shopping on a completely different day than my usual Saturday, and in the morning instead of the afternoon. Many different and interesting little things happened that day, bringing about another tweak in April. I simply joined Facebook. But that's where I met a really cool friend who does a food blog and I became her copy editor. By August I believed I could do my own blog. So, now I'm finally back to writing... after nearly a 30 year break... joined a couple writers' groups, and have decided to write my first book. I am doing what I always dreamed of, and all I did was go to the grocery store at a different time than I usually went. Imagine that.

Perhaps, if you tell me about the one tiny tweak you're deciding to do - however small it may be - it will inspire others to do their own, and help me to tweak some more, too :~)

The Architect of My Soul - Canvas or Drawing Board

Today I pull out the blank canvas. I need to repaint my life - again. Maybe I need to see things bigger this time; maybe I'm more than just a painter. Perhaps I should decide to be the architect - the one who plans, designs, and takes the oversight of the construction. Then I won't be having to revisit this subject - again. That's gotta be the answer.  I'll just become "The Architect of My Soul." (Of course, I say this as if I was the first one who's ever coined the phrase.)

So no blank canvas today. Instead, I'm sitting up to a blank drawing board. I'm actually more familiar with this medium anyway. I took 2 years of mechanical drafting in high school, AND, I was quite good at it I might add. But first, before I lay it all out, I must plan. That will take some serious consideration and thought and... time. Already this seems to be involving much more effort than I'm willing to put into it right now. (sigh)

Perhaps painting would be simpler after all - definitely easier. HGTV always points out how the easiest way to change where you live is: paint. The only plan needed is to decide a color scheme, and I already have one picked out.  It's relatively simple just to stick with what I know I already like.

Meanwhile, back to the drawing bo--- or, uh, I mean, ...blank canvas!  Right? So, I'm going to repaint my life. Right? Wait a minute... then what have I really changed? I'm just going to 'stick with what I know I already like" anyway. Isn't that the path I've taken before? Isn't this why I decided in the first place to pull out the blank canvas today? And, isn't it because of all these things that I concluded I actually need an architect? Yes, I believe so. And... that would be me; I'm the architect (and I'm not referring to The Matrix). I am:

The Architect of My Soul.