Note: I read all comments and respond to most. --- New posts every 10 to 15 days...except when life decides to get in my way by dropping a log into my pond.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

"R" is for...Regret Not

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”   ~Alexander Graham Bell

Someday, I should actually put a list together of all my little personal Thou Shalts. Thou shalt remember that rules are meant to be broken. Thou shalt overcome fear whenever it shows its ugly face. But, at the very top of that list would be: Thou Shalt Regret Not

In fact, if this list is really all that important to me, I honestly know that my someday will definitely happen...otherwise I would be wide open for the possibility of a regret. And, that's simply not going to happen. 

Someday, I'm going to get rid of all the clutter I've accumulated around the house...including the basement and garage. I'll have one gargantuan garage sale, perhaps at one of those community locations that draws in thousands of people each year during the month of May. 

And you know what? If I'm really serious about this, I know that my someday will definitely happen, otherwise I would be wide open for the looming likelihood of regret. And, well, that's just not going to happen.

Someday, I'll buckle down on my diet and exercise, and actually shed the excess off these tired bones. My new found vitality will carry me off into my greatly anticipated adventures and discerning discoveries, to satisfy and fulfill the muse within, and to share with my best friend. 

And -- I already know there's no *if* on this one -- I absolutely know that my someday will arrive, otherwise I would end up wide open for that sorrowful probability of regret. And, that shall absolutely not happen.

Actually, there is a fairly simple formula for decreasing the probability of acquiring regret(s) in life. Either, I decide from the onset, to not put so much importance on the task or desire -- at least not so much that there would be regret if it didn't happen in my life time -- or, I organize and plan all the Somedays into my daily life. 

Anything worth doing -- anything I want to have happen in or to my life -- is worth doing now. At times it's just a matter of loving myself enough to make room for it. Or, seeing my life big enough -- important enough -- to put the work into it to make my life the best it can be.  

The enemy is procrastination, but it cannot co-exist in this regret-less realm.

But how can I be so convinced that regret will not happen? Because, if today I make the best decision I can about a matter, and I find out later down the road, that perhaps it wasn't the *best* decision after all, does that make it not the best decision? No. It doesn't change a thing. Remember -- it's only by hindsight that we see everything 20/20.

Whatever decision I make, I let it rest. Any information that later comes to my attention about my decision, is only for learning in moving forward. That is all. What is already done, is done. That is my vow to myself, made many many moons ago, that enables me to enjoy my life,
                                and.............Regret Not :~)


Ella said...

This was a great motivating post!
Thanks for sharing~

KarenG said...

It seems like a waste of time and energy to spend in regrets, unless it causes one to change things for the better. Then regret can be helpful.

Samantha Sotto-Yambao said...

Well said! Regret is my GREATEST fear in life. Anger, grief, depression - they all pass. Regret is forever.

M Kathy Brown said...

Ella ~
Thank you! I am so glad you were able to benefit from what I wrote.

Glad you stopped by :~)

M Kathy Brown said...

Sam ~
You must be back from fishin'!

I can see you understand how I feel about this subject. Thanks for the compliment on how I wrote it...that means a lot to me, coming from a very talented writer :~)


M Kathy Brown said...

Karen ~
Perhaps we are thinking of two different words here (?!)

Remorse or sorrow can be good...both can lead to change.
Mistakes are good...they can usually bring about change.

Regret is not hangs like a dark cloud over your heart as an unchangeable circumstance. That is why it is called: regret. If it can effect a change, it would no longer be regret.

:~) Kathy

Christa said...

This post makes a person think, deeply, and after reading the responses, more deep thinking has occurred. It is easy to confuse regret with mistakes. They are almost interchangeable. So how do we keep them separate, with two different meanings?

One can regret a mistake and a mistake can be a regret. However, while all mistakes are not necessarily regrets, all regrets are mistakes.

Should effect be affect?

Love you!